Obama's Earthquake

While vacationing in Martha's Vineyard, President Obama caused a 5.9 instensity Earthquake in Virginia which resonated throughout the East Coast of America. According to John McCain, if the President had been focusing on the tectonic plates of our Nation instead of swimming and dealing with Libya, this could have all been avoided. Mitt Romney promised that if he were President, there would have been no Earthquake at all because the Corporations being deregulated, would have found it in their best interests to stop it. Rick Perry claimed that Obama's policies have burdened the nation with silly regulations and therefore the country could not avoid such disasters but this would change under a Perry Presidency. Michelle Bachmann quickly claimed that this Earthquake was as a result of Obama's decision to end Don't Ask Don't Tell thus bringing on the Quake as a punishment to gays. Meanwhile, the President's strategy in Libya seemed to be working but the Republicans faulted him for causing the Earthquake to occur here instead of in Libya, thus substantiating their view that Obama doesn't love America. Where are you Americans for reason and truth?